Confessions Of A Personal Development Junkie.

by Guest

Yuanming Yuan

This is a guest post from Mike CJ, a full time author and blogger.

My name is Mike, and I’m a personal development junkie.

I have been since I first started work, avidly reading the latest books on the subject. When the internet came along, I was in heaven, and could quite easily have spent my life on there.

I seemed to spend my early years constantly reinventing myself, then chastising myself for not living up to the “new me.”

I’d like to share a few thoughts and tips, based on what I’ve learned on this long, and sometimes rocky road.

Don’t forget you’re different!

When you read what you perceive to be some brilliant advice, the temptation is to dive into it straight away. But pause for a moment and check that the great advice is right for you, for your nature.

Let me give you an example of how this can go wrong. When I started as a blogger, I read somewhere that the best way to write posts was to “batch” them, or write a number in one sitting, then schedule them to go out over the following week. Good advice! So I tried it for a few weeks, and yes, I did enjoy the feeling of being “ahead of the game.”

But there was a problem. Nobody liked the posts, and when I looked at them again, I agreed that they were lifeless and limp. I had discovered that my writing style is about having an idea, RIGHT NOW, and blitzing a post out while the idea is fresh and still fascinating to me. I actually thrive on rushing to meet a deadline. That gives my posts an edge and some passion, so I reverted back to my previous posting method, and learned something about myself in the process. Not every piece of great advice will suit you, so analyse each against your own core values and style.

It takes 30 days for something to become a habit.

I’m not naturally disciplined, and I have learned that I need to do something consistently for a month before it becomes part of my routine.

Have you ever started, with the best intentions, something new, and then seen it slowly disappear from your schedule? If so, next time, promise yourself you’ll give it 30 days, you’ll be amazed at the effect!

You are already pretty damn good!

It can be depressing when you’re reading the blog of a personal development guru. Their lives seem so serene, so organised, they are so “in control.” You can end up feeling hugely inadequate, and that feeling can have a negative effect on what you want to achieve.

When you’ve read this post, sit down, and write down five things you are really good at – stuff related to your work. Post that piece of paper on the wall near your desk. Next time you have that sinking feeling, check out the piece of paper and remind yourself how good you are.

It’s OK to take “bits”.

When I start every training or coaching session, I open with the following words: “Training is not about changing the whole way you do something, it’s about putting a series of ideas, which may help, in front of you. And it’s about you selecting the ideas that are right for you, then acting on them and making them a habit. If, as a result of this session, you start to do one or two things differently, then it’s been a success.”

So how does that translate to you? Feel free to pick out a small idea every now and then, start doing it, and then incorporate it into your life. Don’t try to eat the elephant in one sitting, do it one chunk at a time.

Maintain a balance.

I’ve been the greatest Dad in the world; I’ve been the best husband a woman could ever wish for; I’ve been the hardest working, most successful employee in my company. The trouble is, I couldn’t ever be more than one of those things at the same time, and each time I became the best at one of them, I became a waste of space at the others. If you’re a PD junkie too, you’ll recognise this symptom all too well.

Unless you’re training for the Olympics, settle for being as good as you can in each of your life areas.

Being extraordinary is about doing the simple things extraordinarily well.

I’m not even going to explain that to you – I’d like you to ponder that one for yourself!

You can find out more about Mike CJ at Mike’s Life – a blog for new and learning bloggers who want to earn a long term, sustainable income from blogging. If you’ve enjoyed this post, you should join the Mike’s Life community for his regular email updates.

 

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Robert Bravery September 22, 2009 at 10:56 pm

I know exactly what you are talking about. I am a Computer/techie junkie. I spend way too much time at the computer.
It’s so difficult to strike a balance. But each aspect of your life demands Total commitment and the best you can offer. If you can’t find that balance, you will soon be in big trouble.

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2 Gordie September 23, 2009 at 6:52 am

Yeah, one has to be selective in what one chooses to put most energy into.

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3 Tristan Lee September 22, 2009 at 11:13 pm

Thanks for this encouraging post. I like the tip on you’re already good. It can be discouraging to see personal development guru’s or gurus in any niche, but one must realize that even the gurus started out the same way you did also. If they were able to find a way to get to the top, so can anybody else that’s willing to put in the effort to do so.

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4 Mike CJ September 23, 2009 at 2:54 am

Part of it is that the PD gurus have to appear to be totally in control, but I bet underneath it all they’re paddling as hard as many of us!

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5 Gordie September 23, 2009 at 6:54 am

Hi Tristan, welcome to our blog! You’re right in that probably all PD gurus started out similar to us and that’s what inspired them to become gurus in the first place. They wanted to help people. I’m sure the potential paycheck was a good incentive too. ;)

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6 Blaine Bullman September 22, 2009 at 11:25 pm

I really enjoyed reading that. A lot of golden nuggets to take away and think about.

It’s so true that we are all different and just because something works for one person that doesn’t mean it’s a one size fits all solution. We really do have to take it upon on ourselves to discern between what works and what works for us as individuals.

The most important point I’ll take away though is “Being extraordinary is about doing the simple things extraordinarily well”. It’s great advice.

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7 Mike CJ September 23, 2009 at 2:57 am

Good to see you on here Blaine! I wish I could take the credit for that line, but it belongs to Michael Jackson, and no, not that Michael Jackson! This one was the MD of a training company based in Yorkshire.

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8 Gordie September 23, 2009 at 6:56 am

Hi Blaine. Welcome!

I agree. Mike your advice on doing the simple things extraordinarily well is a gem piece of advice. Cheers!

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9 Jimi Jones September 22, 2009 at 11:28 pm

Mike,
this is a really spot on post. I can recall trying to be outstanding at many things, only to end up flubbing at most. That taught me to concentrate on one thing at a time and do my best at that before moving on to something else.

Thanks for sharing!

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10 Gordie September 23, 2009 at 6:57 am

Hi Jimi,
It’ll be cool if you want to do a guest post on here sharing your experiences as a successful businessman.

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11 Kevin Tea September 22, 2009 at 11:28 pm

Mike, balance is everything, as you say and I sometime forget this and also knowing my limits.

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12 Gordie September 23, 2009 at 6:58 am

Cool to know your limits, even better to exceed them. ;)

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13 Nathan Hangen September 22, 2009 at 11:39 pm

Good post Mike and useful for perfectionists like me that want to make 1000 changes at once without realizing the implications of setting yourself up to be disappointed.

Be you, in the best way that you can. You’ll never get it perfect, but don’t beat yourself up for it.

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14 Gordie September 23, 2009 at 6:59 am

Hi Nathan,
It’s cool to meet another perfectionist. We have to remind each other to not stress out so much.

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15 Mike CJ September 23, 2009 at 2:58 am

Thanks for letting me confess on here Gordie! One day at a time!

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16 Gordie September 23, 2009 at 7:01 am

Mike, I really appreciate this guest post! You can see that it resonated with many others too. In another month or two, I’ll be hitting you up for another one. Your post are just what my site needs :)

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17 Graham September 23, 2009 at 5:41 am

Hey Mike. I am actually perfect at everything. It is just the World that is imperfect!

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18 Gordie September 23, 2009 at 6:51 am

Cool, finally I know of another person who’s perfect at everything! Lol!

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19 Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot September 25, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Interesting… I thought only women read PD books but have recently discovered how wrong I was. I had a serious self help book problem for about 5 years. It was typical really, started off slowly then got out of control after I had kids. I had to quit cold turkey.

Back in control now just reading bits here and there, but it has to be a good thing. What I really don’t understand is why some people don’t want to improve themselves. Or maybe they are the lucky ones who are happy with the status quo…

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20 Gordie September 25, 2009 at 2:00 pm

I think it’s true that one can go overboard with PD books. A lot of them just recycle the same stuff. However there are a few very good ones. Which ones do you recommend Annabel?

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21 Mike CJ October 2, 2009 at 7:40 pm

I agree about wondering why some people don’t want to improve themselves Annabel. Although I think that’s balanced by those of us who are obsessed by it!

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22 Ron - Heroic Nature October 2, 2009 at 10:51 am

My name is Hurone….and I too, am a recovering personal development junkie. Seriously, this is one of the things that I’m really attempting to with my blog. Instead of blogging just about development, I believe in empowerment. I think that everyone already has the power to discover and follow their own path of development.

My tools for quitting the addiction? Daily exercise and meditation. That’s it. Empower your body, empower your mind. I’ve learned to solve most of my “issues” with just these two habits as a starting point.

Great article guys.

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23 Gordie October 2, 2009 at 10:57 am

Hi Hurone,
Thanks for stopping by. Your blog sounds interesting and not just another PD blog. I’ve haven’t looked too much at addiction. I’ll be interested on learning more about it.

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24 Mike CJ October 2, 2009 at 7:43 pm

Nice one Hurone! Welcome to the junkie club! I’ll agree with the excercise, but have always struggled with the meditation thing. Got any tips?

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