As I thought about it for the last few days, I realized lifestyle design requires quite a bit more than just setting a goal of a certain lifestyle and setting out to achieve it. It requires being a certain type of person.
So, in no particular order here are some of my thoughts on personality traits you need for effective lifestyle design.
1. Remember Names.
In the guide I wrote on How To Get Free Drinks And Get Treated Like A VIP Everywhere You Go, I shared one of my greatest tips which was to remember names.
Remembering names is one of those things most people aren’t good at. How often do you hear a person say “I’m sorry, I’m really bad with names.” If you’re not that person then you’re automatically a notch above the average person in terms of charisma.
Ask people their names whether it’s your waitress, cab driver or any other person you’re interacting with. If it’s in a hospitality environment where people have name tags, then address people by their name. Make them feel like a human who’s on the same level, not somebody who’s serving you, and you’ll be amazed.
2. Treat everybody like a VIP.
One key component of lifestyle design is treating everybody like a VIP. I’m guessing VIP treatment is something we’d all like built into our lifestyle. Remember that golden rule from elementary school “treat others the way you want to be treated.”
I’ve noticed that when you treat anybody in your environment like a VIP, whether it’s a waiter, new friend in a group, or anybody else, they’ll reciprocate treatment. This is one of those things that results in a lot unexplainable perks in your life.
3. Be outgoing.
If you think you can be a recluse or a social outcast and somehow design an amazing lifestyle, good luck. Designing a lifestyle requires many moving parts, most of which are other people. If you’re not outgoing or friendly it’s going to be a challenge.
Let’s say you get to the foreign country that you’ve been dreaming of living in and you’re anti-social; you’re going to be pretty miserable. If you’re outgoing then you’re going to open yourself up to a world of interesting experiences and opportunities.
4. Radiate Good Energy.
You’ve likely heard the saying that 90% of communication is non-verbal. There is so much truth to this. I was recently coaching a client on his public speaking skills and one thing I was telling him is that whatever you feel on the inside is going to be conveyed regardless of the words coming out your mouth. Like attracts like and good energy draws people to you along with positive experiences.
5. Be Agreeable.
Nobody likes a person who is really argumentative. Argumentative people are really good at eventually alienating everybody around them because it’s impossible to have a conversation with them. The idea is to be the kind of person people want to be around.
6. Become a connector.
This is one of my personal favorites. I even wrote two posts over at The Skool of Life called How to become a connector and how to become a connector part II: World Domination. If you haven’t read Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Tipping Point, I highly recommend you do.
Let me explain the concept of a connector just in case you’re unclear. If you analyze your forty closest friends and see how they all connect, you’ll always come back to the same three people. Basically, these people are the ones that know a lot of people and have a very special skill.
Guess what? Anybody can become a connector. Once you do, you’ll open up another world of possibilities.
7. Be Flexible.
No matter what you’re after in your life, flexibility is the key. You have to adjust to the inevitable ebb and flow that is part of life. Sometimes bad things happen and you have to choose how to react. Other times you may have to adjust your goals to fit in to where you are currently at in your life.
As you take a closer look at lifestyle design, you’ll see that incorporating certain personality traits will make it easier and much faster to reach your lifestyle design goals.
Related posts:
- How Self-confidence Can Strengthen Your Lifestyle Design And Personal Development.
- Lifestyle Design Versus Personal Development.
- Why Meditation Is The Rocket Fuel For Lifestyle Design And Personal Development.
- Lifestyle Design: Take Action, But Don’t Be Attached To The Outcome (Up To A Point).
- Help! I’m At A Lifestyle Design Crossroads.
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G'day! I'm Gordie, founder and editor-in-chief of Lifestyle Design For You. I want to welcome you to the center of the universe when it comes to lifestyle design and personal development blogs. We're a team of ten writers providing you with articles to help nourish your mind and improve your life. Lifestyle design is about designing your life so you can do what you want when you want. 
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
I like #2 ‘Treat everyone like a VIP.’ That’s definitely something that we should strive for during our daily interactions with people. By treating people well, we also radiate good energy and make others and yourself happier!
Ken Kurosawa´s last blog ..What’s a Good Opening Pickup Line?
Welcome, VIP Ken!
I also loved Srinivas’ second point. Imagine what society would be like if we had that attitude that everyone is a VIP. It would be a great world!
Very good posting!
About names.
I’m baaaaad with names.
That’s why I’ve a method to remember a name.
For example you. Gordie. Nope. But Kiwi – yes!
Plus I use sight memory to put pieces together.
Gordie (KiwiGordie) your twitter name…Now I remember you as Gordie KiwiGordie but I do remember!
I guess I’ll remember that rest of my life now!!! LOL!
If you see a woman named Paula and she has something personal which is different from other Paulas you know add those together.
Like: paula the nose, paula the hair, paula the tall etc.
A detail which reminds you of this particular Paula.
It’s also polite to write/type names correctly.
BLOGitse´s last blog ..Traffic, Pollution, Trash, Corruption – The 4 sins of Egypt
Hey there,
That’s a pretty interesting technique to remember names- Paula the nose. Lol!
BTW, Srinivas is the author of this post, not me. However, I appreciate you can at least remember my Twitter name.
Thanks for the interesting comment.
LOL! I didn’t realize or even noticed that this was a guest post…
Gordie
Sri ni vas – that’s how I would split the name and soon I remember it as one word Srinivas.
Sorry Srinivas I didn’t notice the article was written by you. Thank you for sharing it.
BLOGitse´s last blog ..Traffic, Pollution, Trash, Corruption – The 4 sins of Egypt
No worries. Srinivas is one of eight guys we have on our team of writers here as Lifestyle Design For You. You can see the team here: http://lifestyledesignforyou.com/the-team/
Fantastic tips, Srinivas!
I have gotten much better with names, once found it almost embarrassing not to remember. I still have my moment though.
All of these a great points to practice, “become a connector” I think is one that many need to work on. I agree, this can open a wide range of things up for you, although that is not the initial motivation. It’s just a matter of bringing people together.
Enjoyed the read.
Jimi Jones´s last blog ..The Importance of Email List Building Strategies
I think if we become a great connector, we’ll easily be remembered as being someone who makes things happen.
Jimi,
If you haven’t read the Tipping Point, I highly recommend it because you will start to see the tremendous power of becoming a connector. You literally have the power to influence massive amounts of people.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..It’s Always for the Best: The Opportunity in Adversity
I’ve got a big problem with remembering names. Even among my regular acquaintances, i have trouble with their names. But I’m good at remembering faces. Perhaps I need to work on this. Being number one on your list, I know its’ important.
In China, I’m terrible with remembering Chinese names, so I give everyone and English name. Lol! Works for me.
All great people skills. How to Win Friends And Influence People and the book Never Eat Alone, have been big helps in helping me develop those outgoing skills.
Great post Srinivas, and plus think about it, if you’re a grumpy lifestyle designer who nobody can get along with who wants to drive the world, how are going to find all the sweet deals and sweet spots? Everyone I see who is committed to lifestyle design is very outgoing and very people first. It’s how you build the relationships that can lead to success and fun adventures.
Mike,
It’s definitely key to getting sweet deals and sweet spots. I’m a guy and I get free drinks from female bartenders sometimes just by having good energy. It’s amazing how powerful that is.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..It’s Always for the Best: The Opportunity in Adversity
Hey Mike,
Thanks for recommending, “Never Eat Alone”. I need to work on becoming a bit more outgoing. I’m not grumpy but I definitely come across pretty low key.
Srinivas, from the foot of Mount Fuji, Japan, thanks for your post. I especially agree with your fourth point, Radiate Good Energy. As soon as you enter a room or situation your energy field radiates your vibration and people pick up on this, consciously or not. Everything else, how you speak, how you try to connect, how you treat people, has to integrate with the basic energy you radiate. This is what creates so-called authentic presence and promotes a sense of trust about who you truly are. It’s good to discover Lifestyle Design for You. I have been creating my lifestyle of natural energy wisdom in a 300-year-old minka in the mountains of Japan and have founded a publishing company that is small but very big on energy. Gordie, I look forward to sharing perspectives with your team.
Catrien Ross´s last blog ..Catrien Ross on Getting Out of Bed on the Positive Side
Catrien,
I think our energy is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. We can permeate a room with just our good energy and draw people to us. I’ve noticed on the nites when I go out and I’m just in a great mood.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..It’s Always for the Best: The Opportunity in Adversity
Welcome, Catrien!
To be honest if I made video posts, you’d think I lacked energy. I have a monotone voice and speak pretty calmly. However, I think that’s pretty much how most Kiwis speak. So, perhaps one’s accent and speaking style is at least partly determined by the country they grew up in. I always think Americans come across as very confident with lots of energy because of their accents.
Hi Srinivas,
Great stuff! I have practiced the one about remembering names. I recently was in a hotel during a month and I got to know everybody. I remembered their names and they were very nice with me. I will read your posts about being a connector. That is rather new for me. Thanks.
Isaac – Life is simpler´s last blog ..Steps to financial freedom – First steps
Isaac,
That’s great. IF there’s any place you can really leverage these concepts its in the hospitality industry. I developed most of these ideas from hanging out in bars and hotels.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..It’s Always for the Best: The Opportunity in Adversity
Hi Isaac,
Dale Carnegie said the sweetest sound to any person is their own name. I think he was onto something.
Apparently Napoleon remembered the name of everyone he was ever introduced to. He would write the name down on a piece of paper to get a visual impression of it and then tear it up. Has anyone tried this?!
Sounds like a great technique. I’ll have to test it out.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..It’s Always for the Best: The Opportunity in Adversity
Names, hell am I bad at that. Faces are not a problem and I can spot someone across a room I may have met five or six years ago and I know I know them but remember their names, not a chance! Maybe Napoleon had a point, where;’s the ouija board to ask him
Kevin Tea´s last blog ..Google’s GDrive Launched, er, But It’s Not GDrive!
Hey Kevin,
I’m better with faces than names too. However, I’m also better with nationalities than names. Recently I bumped into a Chinese Swedish guy I haven’t met for two years. I’d only met him once, and I said to him, “You’re from Sweden, right?” He was astonished I could remember that. However, I couldn’t remember his name.
Thanks, Srinivas.
I would add to your already excellent list…
BE FUNNY
Develop your sense of humour. People love to be with people who are fun and can make them laugh. It doesn’t mean becoming a stand-up comic. Rather, lightening up a bit. See the funny side of life. Take yourself and your circumstances just a little less seriously. Let’s face it – non of us get out alive!
Best to you, Robin
Robin Dickinson´s last blog ..The best question you can ask someone
Robin,
That’s a good one. Thanks for adding it. Laughter makes people feel really good so it’s a great association for somebody to make in connection with you as a person.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..It’s Always for the Best: The Opportunity in Adversity
Welcome, Robin!
Yes, being funny or very easy going is a great way to help people feel relaxed around you. People like to laugh, so if you can do that, you’re ahead of the pack.
I would add an eigth, be motivating, although that kinda comes under 4.
You are 100% right though, treat everyone how you want to be treated and be positive, if someone doesn’t think they can do it and all they lack is a little bit of self confidence then take them with you!
TheInfoPreneur´s last blog ..How To Beat A Traffic Plateau
Great idea on taking them with you. Sometimes I’ve done this at bars and it makes for a really fun night.
Srinivas Rao´s last blog ..It’s Always for the Best: The Opportunity in Adversity
Hey James,
I like to hang around with motivating people. It makes me feel more confident for some reason.
Super list Srinivas. One thing I need to definitely more more on is the name piece. A lot can be said about people who remember details about you and project them back.
I think modeling people is another great way to make friends of enemies and strangers alike. Your point #5 reflects a lot of that.
The Real Josh´s last blog ..Develop A Story In Order To Sell More Products
Welcome, Josh!
There’s something for knowing a person and modeling them can be a good way. Be all things to all men.
I like VIP.
Even if others actually don’t treat you how you treat them at least you can always say you treat them better than they treat you.
Eric´s last blog ..The Way I Blog With Ease
Hey Srinivas -
This post was such a good reminder to give into others’ lives what you would like to manifest in your own life. I love what you said about 90% of communication being non-verbal. People definitely pick up on what you feel inside not just what you demonstrate on the outside.
Matthew Abney
Matthew Abney´s last blog ..What if I add more?