I Think Young Therefore I Am Young – I Think.

Do you remember some of those old Star Trek episodes when Captain Kirk and his merry band of space pilgrims met up with advanced alien cultures whose members were virtually disembodied intelligence sustained by thought? It didn’t help that one of these “brain tribes” reminded me of my old maths teacher and it was an odd reaction while watching Star Trek to have some sort of psychosomatic twinge on my right palm where the sadistic little bastard used to cane me for not being able to solve quadratic equations using graphs!

I digress, the power of thought is something that has fascinated people for thousands of years and at the back end of the 1970s psychologist Ellen Langer carried out an experiment to find if changing thought patterns could slow aging and the results of the experiments have remained hidden until now. Prof Langer recruited a group of elderly men all in their late 70s or 80s for what she described as a “week of reminiscence”. They weren’t told they were taking part in a study into aging, an experiment that would transport them 20 years back in time (tricky little buggers these psychologists!). Prof Langer wanted to know if she could put the mind back 20 years would the body show any changes. The men were split into two groups, both spending a week at a retreat outside of Boston.

Living In The Past.

But while the first group, the control, really would be reminiscing about life in the 50’s, the other half would be in a time warp (I know the feeling). Surrounded by props from the 50’s the experimental group would be asked to act as if it was actually 1959. They watched films, listened to music (be do wop bop!) from the time and had discussions about Castro marching on Havana and the latest Nasa satellite launch – all in the present tense.

In a short space of time she could see a difference. Over the days, Prof Langer began to notice that they were walking faster and their confidence had improved. By the final morning one man had even decided he could do without his walking stick. As they waited for the bus to return them to Boston, Prof Langer asked one of the men if he would like to play a game of catch, within a few minutes it had turned into an impromptu game of “touch” American football.

Prof Langer took physiological measurements both before and after the week and found the men improved across the board. Their gait, dexterity, arthritis, speed of movement, cognitive abilities and their memory was all measurably improved. Whether or not any of the rejuvenated senile delinquents made a pass at Prof Langer isn’t recorded but it’s known that screen goddess Jennifer Aniston has made a pitch for the movie rights so any Hollywood blockbuster is bound to have some horizontal jogging in it somewhere!

Do you fancy scoring some, er, Glucosamine, man?

So in the interest of science I shall be digging out my Grateful Dead and MC5 posters, investing in some crushed velvet flared trousers and a couple of tie-dyed T shirts from eBay, start playing Captain Beefheart’s Troutmask Replica album at full volume and sit crossed legged on the floor reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg’s Howl …

The sad reality is that I’m more likely to be dropping Glucosamine tablets for arthritis than Owsley’s finest White Lightning LSD and I’m far happier sitting in front of the wood burner reading a decent book and sipping something chilled from Chile than sitting out in the pouring rain and mud-fest at Glastonbury. On the plus side if I build a coterie of young female admirers here, I’m too bloody knackered to run away from them!

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